Self care is such an important aspect of life. A part of self care is learning how to be alone without feeling lonely. Often times people confuse the two as being the same, but they are 2 different things. Alone is a state of isolation where you are without company. Lonely is a feeling of disconnect or abandonment. Some people don't like being alone and others just haven't figured out how to do it yet. No matter who you are, or what your relationship with yourself is like, hopefully one or more of these tips can help you foster a better relationship. One of the most important relationships in your life, is the one you have with yourself. Cherish it.
Tip 1: AVOID COMPARISON
Don't spend time trying to figure out how you measure up to someone else's standards. The only way comparison can be acceptable is if you are comparing who you were to who you've become. That other person's life path isn't the same as yours. That persons definition of success isn't the same as yours. That person, is not you. Life is not a competition nor is it a race. We are all moving towards the same fate, but we will all get there differently. Your only competition, should be yourself. What everyone else is doing, isn't important.
Tip 2: TAKE A TECHNOLOGY BREAK
There's so much out there that can effect the way you feel about being alone. Sometimes it's good to put the phone down and take a break from everything that's on it. I mean the news and pop culture articles, the social media apps, the dating apps, the ads that show up on your games. All of those things can have an effect on you. What you take in, effects you. It can effect your mood and how you feel about yourself. Sometimes we forget that social media doesn't always show the whole story. But regardless if it is the whole story or not, you shouldn't allow it to dictate who you are. Give yourself a chance to truly self reflect and connect to who you are and who you want to be. This can best be done if you give the technology a break.
Tip 3: ACKNOWLEDGE THINGS YOU'RE GRATEFUL FOR
This can be as simple as speaking out loud the things you are grateful for or making a list of all the things in your life that you're thankful for. This list can include any and everything; the ability to walk, having your dream job, having a savings, having children, being in a relationship, having food to cook, being able to pursue your dreams, and everything in between. By reflecting over things that make you happy or that are going good in your life, you are being positive and that positive energy alone can make a world of a difference. What you put into yourself is what you're going to get out of yourself. So its always a good idea to reflect on the good things and pour positivity into yourself. Life isn't easy, and sometimes its easy to focus on the negative or get down in the dumps emotionally. But when you strictly look at the negative, you miss how much positive is actually happening right around you. We only get one life, don't miss out on the good by focusing only on the bad.
Tip 4: TAKE YOURSELF OUT
A lot of people feel uncomfortable being out in public alone. In the beginning, it probably will feel weird. But once you become more comfortable with your own company, it won't feel as weird or awkward. You can go shopping (or window shopping cause, it be like that). Spend some time at a park, maybe have a picnic, go out to eat and sit in the restaurant, and that's just off the top of my head. Spend some time with yourself and learn about who you are. Demonstrate the love that you want to receive from others by giving it to yourself. If you enjoy gift giving, give yourself gifts. Quality time? Go spend quality alone time. Words of affirmation? Affirm yourself and practice positive self talk. Once you are able to love yourself, you open the door for others to be able to love you as well. This will also allow you to better understand how you want to be loved by those around you. You will kind of become a demonstration of how they are to love you. I will create a separate post about self dates to talk more about it and what it could look like.
Tip 5: DO SOMETHING FOR YOUR SPIRIT
If you are a spiritual person, whether that be religion or something else, feed that. This may mean doing something like reading a book- maybe self help or encouraging, or maybe something fun and lively. This could look like going to church if you haven't, or reading your religious text. This may look like taking out time to pray or maybe giving your time to help an organization or someone in need. Whatever you decide, do something that lights up your spirit and feeds your soul. No matter how beautiful you are on the surface, its what lies beneath that makes all the difference. And like I've said before, what you decide to put into yourself is what you are going to get back out. So do good. Invite happiness into your life. Choose kindness. Give to others. Allow hope to be apart of your heart. Figure out what sets your spirit on fire and do that. Don't let anyone stop you. Because at the end of the day, you are doing this because its personal. You got this.
The thought of being alone can be scary. Trust me I get it. But the relationship you have with yourself is so very important. You are the only person who has no other choice than to live with you. Why not make that a happy experience? Find peace within yourself and happiness in that peace. You are enough. So don't stress it. Relax and enjoy your me time, make sure its worthwhile for you!
Love ya muchly,
~Riah~
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